Ok. First off, manhattans. Strong manhattans. We had just worked a good 8 stressful hours on a freaking Saturday, and we were rewarding ourselves with manhattans. My brain was a little fried, and I’m pretty sure when the nice man asked “would you like them on the rocks or straight up,” my reply was, “YES.”
Anyway. Emily and I were discussing parents in general, and she dropped this bomb on me. YOU GUYS. WHAT IF SHE IS RIGHT? How did this never occur to me? I just figured I was, you know, constantly disappointing her. But, here’s the thing: when my dad said “when was your last oil change?” I never interpreted that question as meaning “you are a disappointment for not getting your oil changed more regularly.” It just meant that he was looking out for me. And yet I have always, always read the comments about my appearance as “you do not measure up” and never as “I’m just looking out for you.” I mean, okay, maybe it was sometimes misguided, maybe it often wasn’t phrased as delicately as it could have been. But my mom’s a very nice person, she would never tell me that I wasn’t good enough for her. How was I always so quick to believe she means something that she would never, ever say?
So, my apologies to my mother. Mom, if you’re reading this, I’m sorry I was so eager to believe that you were just being mean. I don’t know why it never occurred to me that you might be just trying to look out for me (although, just to point out retroactively, pixie-short hair was really in that year, and all the guys I knew found it really cute), but I will try to learn to be less… reactionary in the future. :) Love you!
This made me laugh and kind of cry, too. Especially after reading some hard-assed, anti-mother comments about advice given (in a Canadian newspaper) to a young woman whose mom made frequent references to her weight.
It’s heartening to read your post. Sometimes grown-up kids do really give their parents a break. Laughed at the comic, too. (Came here via Byron, btw)
So sweet! Now I’m wondering if that nice police officer who gave me a speeding ticket was just showing concern for my welfare. What a nice young man.