My sister im’d me today. She’s getting married in February, and has her first wedding dress fitting in a few weeks. She was panicking. Apparently, the first time she tried on the dress, it was tight, and she thinks she’s gained a few pounds since then (5!), and so she’s SURE that it’s going to be even worse. She was feeling pretty down on herself.
The whole time I was reading her IMs I was thinking, this doesn’t make sense, this is silly, how can she feel so down on herself for this? And then I realized, wow, I really have come pretty far. Six months ago, I would have been right there with her. Six months ago, I couldn’t even fathom TYPING “I LOVE MY BODY”. These days, I get dressed, check myself in the mirror and think, well all right, lady. Not bad.
I’m certainly not where I was when I started this project. I don’t know if any of you have experienced this, but there were some days where I’d see myself in the mirror, and it was like drums would start pounding in my head: “YOU ARE FAT, YOU ARE UGLY” and they’d just keep echoing in my cranium all day long, you are fat, you are fat, you are fat. Everyone knows you are fat. Everyone is disgusted by you. You should be ASHAMED. When I kept those thoughts private, they’d just bounce around their echo chamber until I worked myself into a frenzy. But, and hooray for webcomics, dragging those demons out into the light made me realize exactly how dumb they were.
I still don’t think I’m quite at the “I LOVE MY BODY” stage, not just yet. But… well, I’m fairly pleased with it. I certainly don’t hate it anymore. It’s got its plusses and minuses like any body does, and I think I’m seeing the plusses a little more than the minuses lately.
Anyway, MC! If you are reading this, I truly meant every word I said today. You are gorgeous, you are so amazingly pretty just as you are right now, 5 pounds more or 5 pounds less makes no damn difference, you are beautiful, and you will ROCK that wedding dress.