So, some back story: I took flamenco dance lessons for about a year and a half and they were awesome. I know I left class every time walking an inch taller. It made me feel strong and confident. It made me feel BADASS. It also took up two nights every week, plus extra practice time, and I have a habit of spreading myself far too thin, and something had to give.

I was asked to play mandolin for a few Spanish carols for their holiday recital, and so there I was, watching the dress rehearsal. The girls I used to dance with were doing awesome dances with fans and castanets and God help me, I miss it. I know I don’t have time for it anymore, but I really miss it. I was sitting there, toying with the idea of taking it up again, and that little voice whispered in my ear: if you did, if you were in that class, you’d be the fattest one there. And I probably was the biggest girl in my class when I was dancing. I hated watching the videos of performances for that reason… but I loved dancing. I never thought about how big I was when I was dancing, only how strong I felt.

Speaking of dancing and such concerns, have you read Ragen Chastain’s blog? She’s pretty amazing.

Anyway. No flamenco for me, for the time being anyway. Someday I’ll have time for it again.