You know what, I’m going to treat this as a victory. I wasn’t paying very close attention while we were traveling – well, close enough to draw things, but I wasn’t trying very hard to be crazy healthy. I was working the convention and having fun. I was sure this morning that I was going to have gained everything back, but, well, nothing happened. No loss, no gain, I was terrified over nothing.

Of course now maybe I’m worried that I’m stuck on the plateau, but I think I’d be a lot more worried about plateauing if I had been really trying hard this past week.

And Jamie’s comment from last night’s comic is spot on. When you get a discouraging result, you really only have two options. 1) give up, or 2) keep trying. And it’s not really a failure until you stop trying, so you might as well keep at it.

Ok this is turning into a long entry, but stick with me. When I first moved to Chicago, I worked at a design studio for about 3 months before they unceremoniously tossed me out on my ass. I was unemployed for about 6 weeks, and it was terrible. I sent out resumes to about 50 places, and didn’t get even an email back. So I redoubled my efforts and sent out my resume to 100 more places, because I was unwilling to accept a universe in which I didn’t have a job. I’ve never had a problem with determination and will in creative pursuits, academic pursuits, career pursuits… and I’ve always sort of wondered why I don’t have that same force of will when it comes to getting healthy and fit. Why is it that I’m unwilling to accept a world where I don’t have a job, or a world where I haven’t finished a 40 page comic, but I’m totally ok with a world where I’m unhappy with my body?

Ah but now I’m rambling, I think.

Side note, in middle school the margins of my notebooks were filled with doodles, and one of my most persistent doodles was a cliff/plateau thingie just like this one. I drew that cliff over and over again. A few times it got pretty elaborate – two facing cliffs with a deep chasm between them, a giant eyeball in place of a sun, and mini nuclear mushroom clouds all over the landscape for trees. It would have made a great amateur metal band album cover. Fortunately none of my teachers saw it as a cry for help from a disturbed mind or anything. :)

And THAT is why I can’t draw horses very well, because I spent middle school drawing post-apocalyptic horror landscapes, instead of unicorns.