So, here’s the site in question. Check it out, there are some excellent posters in there. Kim sent me this link a while ago and I finally got around to digging around the poster contest winners the other night. And in writing her back I realized that I was emotionally incapable of even TYPING “to love my body” in that context. Like, I can fathom the idea of maybe one day not hating it. And maybe even being all right with it. But LOVING it? it’s hard to even wrap my brain around that idea.
But I was thinking earlier today, I’m not sure I know anyone – at least not any woman, but maybe any PERSON – who loves their body. I think everyone I know is at least dissatisfied, and many of them are downright unhappy. How did we get here?
One of the things my yoga teacher was talking about in class tonight was that it’s not an accident that we are how we are. God, or the universe, whatever you wish, doesn’t make mistakes like that. I am exactly who I am supposed to be. You are exactly who you are meant to be. Not that some changes are impossible, or even unnecessary in some cases… But there’s nothing to be gained in wishing to be something you aren’t, when you could be just enjoying the awesome things that you are.
Or, you know, whatever. I feel inarticulate tonight. Blame the beers. :)
We leave for Portland tomorrow. I won’t have a scanner out there. I’ll try to upload something before I go, but most likely there won’t be another update until Tuesday night. A plus tard, mes belles!
First the Red Eye and now your comic. I am getting sooo famous. How right you are in saying that there is nothing to be gained in wishing you were something you aren’t. Its not even proper motivation really. I keep telling myself if I lost 20 pounds and could do at least 3 pull ups I would be able to be happy with my body and stop worrying about it. I know thats not really true. But the journey of health and fitness, and truly taking CARE of myself, its not the means to an end anymore. It might be what I was looking for all along. Scale be damned, what I now think would be awesome would be to feel strong and confidant and actually give more of a care as to how I FEEL than how I look. I’m not there yet. But just recognizing it makes me feel like someday I could be.
I don’t think loving something means to like everything about it. I LOVE Brooklyn, but I don’t like how dirty it is sometimes, or having to watch my back all the time. Loving your body is about understanding that your opinion of your body is the only one that matters, and remembering how you felt about your body before anyone ever told you anything was “wrong” with it. Whenever I’m feeling self conscious about my weight, I get mad! I mean, who decided “skinny” was GOOD and “fat” was BAD? Who are these people, and why should I or anyone else give a crap what /they/ think?! I want to try my best to take pride in what I’ve got: wear cute clothes that fit, shoes to enhance the one part of my body I’m proud of: my legs, strut like the model I want people to see me as, wear a good bra, and cute panties- FOR MYSELF. I want other big girls to feel good about themselves, but that has to start at me. I can’t expect others to feel great about their bigger bodies if I’m constantly putting down my own.