We had a lovely lunch today at M. Henrietta on Granville, and after lunch, two of the three people I was with pulled out phones to track their calories. For a brief moment I was flush with … I don’t know, exactly. Guilt? Defensiveness? Like I was preemptively bracing for judgment or criticism or something. Which of course, I wasn’t, but old habits die hard, I guess – even after all this time.
I wondered if what I ate was healthy enough, should I have ordered the brown rice, chicken and vegetables bowl without cheese? I wondered if I was doing enough, why wasn’t I also tracking my calories? Fortunately it only took me a moment to realize that DUH, I write my food down all the time, and DUH, my brown rice and black bean bowl was hearty and healthy and delicious, and DUH, I bike 15 miles a day and also work out and I’m doing plenty. I was surprised at how easily I fell into my old patterns of shame, but I was also encouraged at how quickly I snapped out of it. Small victories?
Announcements! So’s you know, you can buy my newest minicomic, Shuteye #6: The Fetch here! I’m selling it in print and digital versions. Shuteye is a series of short story comics I do about dreams and the nature of dreaming. The stories are loosely connected, but they all stand alone, so you don’t have to have read one to know what’s going on in another, but if you’re interested, I’ve got the entirety of the first issue online here, you can read it for free!