(The title of this post comes from a comment on Kotaku, which cracked Niles up so much that he woke me up to show it to me. Someday, someone needs to teach me how to knit, so I can knit that phrase into a scarf for him.)
Haters gonna hate! Some of these things are irredeemable. Cucumbers and melons, anyway. I have never liked the taste of either of them. I mean, watermelons are mostly ok, and I like tzatziki and cucumber raita sauces. But honeydew, canteloupe, raw cucumber? They have always tasted wrong to me, kind of soapy, and tingly. And then a few years ago, my brother ate a bunch of raw cucumber and got all dizzy and nearly passed out, and I looked up cucumber allergies. Turns out they’re related to melon allergies! So maybe I hate the taste of them for a reason, who knows.
The rest of these, though – kale and chard, summer squash, broccoli, even lima beans – I suspect that I could get over my hatred of them. Specifically, I suspect that I’ve just never had them prepared WELL. So if you happen to like any of these horrible, digusting foods, I invite you to recommend a recipe for me in the comments, and I will totally give it a shot!
In other news, we had a leeetle bit of a date night tonight at Ciao Napoli pizzeria, and I am very full of exceedingly tasty foods. Fortunately we’re running tomorrow to make up for some of it. :)
Roasting broccoli in the oven, much like you would a root vegetable, is quite good. Or perhaps mixed into broccoli cheddar soup, which, while fattening, is quite tasty. Then again I like broccoli.
Kale is sort of a hard sell for me, though I love chard. My boyfriend eats kale raw, which just makes me shudder. For both of them, I’d recommend trying recipes where the greens are one among many ingredients. This is definitely an autumn recipe rather than a summer one, but I’ve made this pumpkin (or butternut squash)/kale/white bean ragout several times and always love it. This curried red lentil/chard/chickpea stew is also really really really good. I’ve also made this kale + olive oil mashed potatoes recipe with chard instead of kale: both ways are good.
I haven’t made this, but if your dislike of summer squash is about texture rather than taste, maybe something like this buttermilk summer squash soup would work, since it gets pureed.
I’m with you on melons of all kinds.
Though I’ve never had it raw, one of my friends made delicious kale chips. Sea salt, olive oil, roast them. They ended up really crispy and a little burnt, but addicting like oddly bitter, really thin potato chips.
Melons have always tasted cloying to me, like aspartame or something.
I confess that I _almost_ drew some cherries on this one too. Not because of how cherries taste to me – it has more to do with having watched Witches of Eastwick at an alarmingly impressionable age.
We get a lot of Kale/ Chard in our farm share. I’ll usually sauté it with some onions, garlic and soy sauce. Add some kind of Asian hot sauce (sriracha mostly) and serve over brown rice. Really simple. I think I eat it twice a week.
Oh, just make sure you cut the stems off before you sauté it.
I’ve toyed on and off with raw foods for a few years, and I’ve developed an OUTRAGEOUSLY delicious kale salad based on modifications to a few different recipes I’ve seen floating around the raw food blogs. Basically: de-stem a bunch of kale into a large bowl. Drip a few spoonfuls of coconut oil onto it and sprinkle with sea salt. Massage the oil and salt into the leaves. (The kale will start to break down, feeling more “cooked,” less fresh and raw.) Slice up an avocado, and massage the chunks into the kale. (Everything will get all mushy and goopy.) Then sprinkle liberally with spirulina and nutritional yeast (at least a few tablespoons of each–really coat the leaves), adding dulse flakes (optional) and cayenne pepper to taste. Squeeze a tablespoon or two of fresh lemon juice over everything, and stir it up well to make sure all the leaves are coated with the seasonings. You can also top it with more chunks of avocado or a sprinkling of hemp or sesame seeds. This is a major meal in a bowl! I get at least two big meals out of this if I use an entire bunch of kale. Good luck; hope you enjoy!
I haven’t tried this yet but have been tempted. http://orangette.blogspot.com/2006/05/lima-beans-long-overdue.html
Elaine beat me to it, but kale chips are a great snack. We have fed them to many vegophobes with great success.
I also love kale chips. Salty and crispy and delicious.
It sounds like there no saving cukes/melons, on account of they make you sick- I know a surprising number of people who have that reaction, the tingly soapy one. And I am Totally with you on yellow squash. It’s all watery and morshy and dull in flavor. Broccoli tastes really gross to me, too.
I bet you could make that phrase into a charming, frameable cross-stitch pattern just with fabric and some graph paper. Or use something like this: http://www.stitchpoint.com/eng/tool/alph/cross-stitch-writing-tool.php to make something like these http://www.subversivecrossstitch.com/
For broccoli, the worst thing you can do is overcook it. I usually like mine with still a little crunch and they should be bright green. My parents were great cooks when I was a kid, so when I went to a friends house and her mom overcooked the broccoli into farty mush, I told her I wouldn’t eat it. She responded that if I didn’t I wouldn’t get dessert. To which I responded, if you cook broccoli like that, how good could the dessert be.
Anyways, broccoli in tofu yakisoba is amazing. In all sorts of stir frys with yummy sauce because the florets hold in a bunch of the sauce and if you stir fry small chunks of broccoli (bite size) you won’t be likely to overcook them.
I wish I had some good recipes for you because I love broccoli and cucumbers and melons so much, but I do love them just the way they are. Maybe you’d like a good Japanese-style pickled cucumber? (Called sunomomo) It’s really easy to make (I don’t have a specific recipe, I just look one up on the internet whenever I make it) and it tastes like the rice vinegar you pickle it with, not like raw cucumber. You can also try gurkensalat, which is the Austrian version of sunomomo. :)
As for broccoli, I just like it steamed until very tender with some cheese on it. Because cheese makes everything taste better.
Lima beans are gross! But I adore kale and broccoli. My favorite way to eat broccoli is lightly steamed with some salt and pepper and lemon juice. But I know there have been many converts to broccoli by making this: http://www.amateurgourmet.com/2008/11/the_best_brocco.html.
Here is my favorite kale recipe. So easy, so fast, so delicious. http://www.bitchincamero.com/2010/03/chickpea-sausage-kale-pasta/. I put on water to heat while browning the sausage and chickpeas and then when I put in the tomatoes and kale I drop the pasta. Easy peasy. I also use regular andouille sausage instead of chicken. This is great because it is really easy to remember and a good weeknight meal.
On more suggestion is that I love kale mashed potatoes. For us that just entails making mashed potatoes and tearing up kale and putting it in. I like to drop it on top of the potatoes while they are drying off a little and then it steams some.
I hate cucumber and melons, too. If it grows on a vine, it can just stay there.
Except grapes. I hate raisins, though.
Garlicy Kale with Tahini Sauce from Vegan With a Vengeance by Isa Chandra M.
Or cheesy kale chips, dehydrate em with salt, spices, nooch, it’s like potatoes baby.
Or anything from Kittee http://pakupaku.info/
Smoothies is another option.
Awwww. you put some of my favorite foods! But I would put “avocado” on my irredeemable list and most people would have me hung for that…and I’m not too into cantaloupe or cucumbers, though I’m more like “meh” than “eww”.