So, I’m not going to say where this was, because my suspicion is that I just happened upon a particularly bitchy employee and that it’s not company policy to be a pretentious frickin’ jackass to customers. But the underlying problem remains – why is it so hard to find workout clothes in larger sizes? Am I meant to go jogging and to yoga class in a burlap sack, the better to advertise my fat-shame to the world around me?

I ended up buying the pants in question, like an idiot. I should have walked right out of there, and maybe even complained to someone on the way. But this was two years ago, and I didn’t have the confidence at the time to do that. I thought I deserved the shame, I thought I deserved to have ill-fitting yoga pants. Maybe it would convince me to finally lose some weight, having to work out in these ridiculously tight pants that I was shamed into buying. Of course now I have one or two pairs of decent yoga pants that fit comfortably – which I ended up getting at Target or something. But now that summer’s coming, I need to find some warm-weather jogging pants or shorts or something, something that I feel comfortable and loose in, and I’m absolutely dreading shopping for them, because all I can think of is this, this horrible lady. If I try to find new jogging shorts, will I be met with the same judgmental derision that I got then? Or even worse?

We’re so eager to judge one another. But you can’t pompously declare that people need to lose weight if you’re simultaneously going to actively deter them from exercising. And I don’t know how many times we need to say this to make it sink in – SHAME DOESN’T WORK. At least not for me. Fat-shaming just makes me want to throw up my hands, give up, and eat a gallon of ice cream. You’re not helping anyone by sneering at them and telling them “this is why you’re fat.”

Anyway. End rant. I know there are plenty of places online to find plus size athletic clothes, and if anyone has any personal recommendations, I’ll take them. Ideally I’d love some kind of bike shorts with a skirt over them to cover my belly. Obviously I’d much rather find something that I could try on before I buy it, but if buying online is the only option, I’ll take what I can get.