Whooooooaaaa so many feels, you guys. So many feels. First off, seriously, nothing is over. While I have been thinking of this moment in my head as “I’m ending Sauceome”, I’m not ending it. And even just the other day, Niles and I were at Longman & Eagle‘s pop-up sausage stand and all I could think about was how to turn the experience into a Sauceome comic. So nothing’s over.
But my schedule is packed, and it’s gotten to the point where every waking moment is spent working on something, and even WITH that, I’ve been sitting on the script for this new book for over a year and haven’t drawn a single page. I just need to free myself up from the schedule – I went from posting a comic five days a week, then three days a week, then two… I still want to keep Sauceome around, but I want to start making a Sauceome comic when I have something that I really want to write about, and not just to fill space every Monday and Friday.
I’ve had so many stressed out evenings trying to figure out what to write a Sauceome about lately that I kind of thought I would just be relieved, but all last week as I was making those sketchbook comics I felt very raw, very emotional, and I am not ashamed to say that I cried once or twice. This comic has been so important to me. All of you awesome people and your amazing support has been so important to me. When I started this three years ago, I really didn’t think it would be anything more than a personal vanity project. I never imagined the response it would get. These comics have been therapy for me. All of you have been therapy for me, and I’m so incredibly grateful for it all.
I want to say especially, everyone who emailed me privately about this comic, telling me that you were recovering from an eating disorder and that reading the comic was helpful to you, I LOVE YOU. Your emails changed me, and if my dumb little drawings helped you in any way, I can’t imagine a better feeling. I’m simultaneously extraordinarily comforted that I’m not alone, and blindingly enraged that almost every woman out there thinks awful things about her body, and feels like her body is the most important thing about her.
I don’t know why I feel like this is goodbye because it’s not! It’s really not. I’ll be posting a lot less often, probably, but I’m hoping that also means I’ll be posting a lot higher quality work. It’s a transition, I guess, and we tend to get navel-gazey and reflective about transitions. And Sauceome has been such a huge part of me for three years now, it’s hard to change anything about it without it feeling like an earthquake, I guess.
Niles just told me he thinks I should conclude this post by telling all of you to “Stay Sauceome.” It’s not bad advice? But I think I will end it with just one more reassurance that NOTHING IS OVER. Check back every once in a while for updates, or follow me on Twitter or Facebook, because I’ll link to new things there. I’ll still be here. :)
(Fun story: the first assignment for my first painting class in college was to pick a masterwork and copy it. I picked Girl Before a Mirror. At the critique, my professor told me that if nothing else worked out for me, I’d have a decent career as an art forger. I think it was a compliment, but to this day I’m not entirely sure.)